so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
