Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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