Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize