they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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