you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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