I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
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its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
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I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You were trust falling into bushes
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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