clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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