If that was your dad, he is hot
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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