Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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