Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
