4 words: hood of his car
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
