remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
