ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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