Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
try to milk me bitch
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