I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
