I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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