Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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