take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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