I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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