if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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