Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
