wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
