I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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