well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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