conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
