you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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