who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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