why didn't you poke me back
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
