You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
