Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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