i will never coherently bang her
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
