You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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