I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He felt like a one man threesome
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
