I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
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she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
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Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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