he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
