That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
