I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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