Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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