Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
