I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
