I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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