I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
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Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
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Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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