Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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