batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I FOUND THE LEGS
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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