quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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