i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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