He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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