Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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