Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
