Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
