you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
