people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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