Please, let me fuck your mom
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
