Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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