i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
