im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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