just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You made out with two different species that night
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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