Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize