Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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