I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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