everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize