apparently the secret to your success is patron
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it was like eating out sand paper
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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