I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
