True but thats because hes a fetus.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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